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Lawyer Jokes

 

14
Lying in bed the 72 year old man was seriously ill. Knowing that death would come soon the man called his lawyer. "I was thinking how you told me I could get a law degree if I had enough money to buy one. How much does it cost again?" "It's $65,000," replied the lawyer. "But you are dying! Why would you want to have a law degree now?" ...

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29
A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of proffesional brain offerred at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for the Engineer brain?" "$5 dollars an ounce." "How much for the doctor brain?" "$7 dollars an ounce." "How much for the lawyer brain?" "...

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29
A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of proffesional brain offerred at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for the Engineer brain?" "$5 dollars an ounce." "How much for the doctor brain?" "$7 dollars an ounce." "How much for the lawyer brain?" "...

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23
A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Reynolds ,I have reviewed the case and have decided to give your wife $750 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," the man replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."  
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02
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $650,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community?" ...

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